The road tripping sailors
It seems that since I last sat down, gathered my thoughts and put fingertips to keyboard, this crazy year has continued in freefall. I keep checking myself and what I see, hear and read and ask “is that real”, “is that true”, “did that just happen?”. I swing from being upbeat, to feeling completely defeated and deeply sad. From being teary about beautiful words and gestures, to utter despair at the hate filled language I hear and see some folk write about others who are different or who have different opinions, and at the aggression and violence we all see in news broadcasts each night. We have such capacity for both magnificence and malnificence and this insane year of 2020 appears to bring out the extremes.
I remain hopeful though that we will rise above it all and that we will be better for everything that 2020 has taught us and continues to teach us….provided, that is, that we don’t accept the proposition of just “getting back to normal” because I’m not convinced that what was normal in January 2020 was the best of us. I would like to think that each of us, on any and every level within our gambit, can take something good from this year and grow for the better. From my perspective, I think this year has provided me some true gifts. It has reminded me that the small things can often be the best and most important things. I have unexpectedly been able to reconnect with my country roots immersing myself in getting my hands dirty, gardening, talking to the chooks, mowing lawns, pulling weeds and walking the crops counting seed heads. I have once more fallen in love with the morning wake up call of the Kookaburra. There is no beach sand in the world quite like that on Australian beaches. I also now more fully appreciate our democracy and freedoms in Australia more than ever. But most importantly, I have cherished the opportunity to spend such precious time during the lockdown with one of my fabulous siblings and her family and when restrictions lifted, I have come to love even more those smothering hugs from my Mum, my baby sister and hopefully soon my brother.
Philosophical ponderings aside, it is also profoundly true to say it has been a very difficult time and a bitter pill to swallow in terms our personal world. While our lives have been turned upside down, thankfully, our immediate families have continued in secure and rewarding jobs and businesses and they are all healthy with safe roofs over their heads. For us, Covid has presented a set of challenges that we were totally unprepared for. Our beautiful floating home which we spent our lives working towards…..sits waiting patiently for us on the other side of the world. Thankfully, she is in good hands and is safe, but oh so far away and many times this year it has felt as though she is drifting away from us altogether. Holding tight to that dream continues to be a battle and there have been days when we have considered the possibility that we’ll lose her and our dream, both literally and figuratively. We have had to develop an alphabet of plans!
In August, Craig accepted a redundancy after working in the resources industry for his entire adult life and twelve years with the current company. That redundancy came about because of the downturn in the industry and the drop in the commodity prices over the last ten months. Projects around the world have been put on hold and workforces significantly reduced due to Covid. So while we worked hard to prepare mentally for what life would be like, it has still left him with very mixed emotions. He has travelled the world with his work, seeing some incredible places and has worked with fabulous people in diverse environments and cultures. Knowing that has come to an end is sad. However, he is a positive guy and is now planning to seize the opportunity presented by this identity shift, by pursuing his dream of being an ‘explorer’ and full-time sailor. In that pursuit, he is working now towards getting his Yachtmaster qualification.
For me, I have struggled with the loss of my sense of place and my sense of self-worth. My mental health has seesawed ponding the 'no home, no purpose, nowhere to call my own and living out of the one bag I brought home for a family holiday in October last year!
I will be eternally grateful for the refuge and mental health support my sister provided. I genuinely don’t know what we would have done had she not been there to catch me or how to express my gratitude. But living in her studio/garage for the last several months has enabled both Craig and I to regroup, gird the loins and to consider our options, plan and move forward. It is true to say both of us have been utterly feeling lost and that depression has been a regular visitor at our door. However, I know that there are so many folk out there who have had that most unwelcome visitor come knocking. So checking in on each other, everywhere around the world, has become really important.
So what next? Well, the first Plan A was that we accept we are staying put for an indefinite period - so we put in an offer on a house on the Sunshine Coast. But that turned out not to be our story….we withdrew the offer shortly after the initial stages of contract on the basis of a pretty scary building inspection survey. As one friend suggested, clearly we were not on the right path and fate took control of that situation for us. We then looked at some cattle grazing land with current agistment contracts in place but decided that we weren’t ready to let go of the ocean and exploring just yet. So we then went looking at another boat. We thought perhaps an Australian floating home might be a good thing. Saw some lovely vessels too and came close to making an offer in Townsville. But again, our gut instincts said no. By now being on about Plan H, we decided that continued adventuring was what we wanted for the short term. That led us to……buying a 4WD and an off-road caravan. Yep. You read that correctly. Our land yacht, hereafter to be known as Gypsy. She is a Sunseeker Marvel Thunderstorm.
So we have become the Chaotic Compass SV Inelsamo and the Road Tripping Gypsy.
Exploring by land or sea…..whichever one this pandemic permits us to pursue.
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